


three times

by missbolton



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, No Homo, they're just rlly good bros :), very good bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 04:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13286574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbolton/pseuds/missbolton
Summary: sirius and james kiss three times throughout their friendship





	three times

**Author's Note:**

> hmm so this is more friendship based even though they kiss
> 
> although i'd totally be up for writing about them doing more but nobody rlly wants that so

They kiss three times.

* * *

 

The first time, they are sixteen and dizzy from excessive firewhisky consumption, giggling like little kids. Friday nights are often spent like this. The rest of the Gryffindor boys are revising in the common room for their upcoming O.W.Ls, which begin in less than a month. At one point, James had been attempting to read his History of Magic notes, but they are long forgotten, most likely kicked onto the floor.

Sirius doesn’t remember when they began talking – like actual, proper talking – but James’s voice floats past his ear, saying something about how he doesn’t like somebody, about how he doesn’t like feeling this way. Sirius has to blink a few times. By the time James comes into focus, he has trailed off, left the words hanging in the air. Sirius knows he’s obligated to reply, as is essential to a conversation, but he isn’t sure what was said. Asking for him to repeat it isn’t an option. James doesn’t do this ‘ _let’s talk about our feelings_ ’ type of shit often - his best mate is sat there looking all vulnerable, hazel eyes glimmering whilst waiting for a reply. He's always been attractive, but for the first time ever, he looks _pretty_. 

So, instead of replying, Sirius chooses the next most sensible option, according to his fuzzy, alcohol-muddled mind. He leans forwards and kisses him.

It’s sort of an accident, really. A sober-Sirius would certainly, definitely _not_ be doing this.

The lips against his own are soft and still. It’s a chaste kiss, similar to the one Marlene had planted on his lips when they were twelve and wondering what kissing felt like. Sure, he and Marlene have since ventured far beyond quick pecks on the lips, but that is all he can compare this to. It lasts about four seconds before Sirius pulls back.

James furrows his eyebrows. For the first time in his entire existence, he doesn’t have a witty reply.

Eventually, after a few seconds of staring at each other, they just resume conversation. The kiss remains ignored.

* * *

 

The second time comes around when Gryffindor have won the Quidditch Cup. It’s the evening, when the party begins to fizzle out, mainly when Lily Evans decides to go up to the girl’s dormitory whilst saying something about having a test the next day. James stares longingly at her retreating figure. Even when she has been out of sight for a few seconds, he keeps his eyes trained on the staircase.

Most of the girls are gone when midnight rolls around. The crowd of boys begin to thin too. Eventually, the party is long extinguished, and it is just James and Sirius sat by the fire, admiring the glint of the trophy against the flickering of the flames. He’s doing that thing again – getting all miserable because Evans didn’t smile at him before going up to bed. Sirius reminds him that she didn’t smile at anybody before leaving. It’s not just him. That special hatred which was reserved for them has faded away now. With N.E.W.Ts, Lily seems to have cooled down. They are sixth years now, just finishing the first year of N.E.W.Ts. Admittedly, Evans has been nicer. Sirius can’t help but catch a few of the smiles she has shot at James. He overhears their perfectly friendly conversations in Potions. He can just tell that Evans has melted in the past year, warming to the possibility of friendship.

But James is adamant that she still hates him. He refuses to admit they’re going to get anywhere, thinks that she's still mad at him for what happened by the lake.

Sirius knows what this is. This is when the joy starts to wear off, replacing it with an empty feeling, and James will begin to feel sorry for himself.

“Mate,” says Sirius.

“There’s not much point. I should just stop trying.”

“Prongs.”

Just as he’s about to start another sentence about how _Lily should like him now_ , Sirius grabs his face and kisses him. A quick, rough kiss. It’s over as soon as it happens and certainly enough for James to stop talking, instead just fixing him with a look.

“Stop talking about it, alright?” Sirius says.

“What?”

“You’re tired.”

“I’m not.”

“Tell me about the winning goal. I want to hear just how pissed off Regulus looked when you beat him.”

James launches into the story, which Sirius has already heard, but it’s something to get his mind off Evans. He certainly looks happier already. As he mimics the way he had thrown it, the trophy nearly slips out of his lap. He catches it, laughs, and is glad to delve into story about how he had expertly intercepted the quaffle when the Slytherin team had possession.

The kiss is forgotten. Again.

* * *

 

The third (and last) time comes when they are much older. Twenty. They are fighting against big figures in masks – Death Eaters – who are swarming around like insects, brandishing wands and throwing green light around. Sirius only just manages to move out of the way, his heart hammering against his chest, and he nearly falls. That is, until, a pair of hands seize his arms.

James pulls him back up and drags him behind something, to safety. Away from the Death Eaters. Away from Moody and McKinnon and the rest of them who are fighting out there. Sirius struggles against the strong grip to get back to fighting, but his best friend is dragging him down insistently.

“Prongs, what are you doing? We have to –“

“I need to tell you something.” He sounds pained, eyes wide and panicked behind his glasses. 

“Is now really the time?”

“I _need_ to say it _now_ , just in case I don’t –“ James cuts off, swallows and takes a long inhale before blurting out, “Lily’s pregnant.”

Sirius stops pulling against his friend’s grip, letting his mouth drop open. This should be good news. This should be news they tell everybody over dinner and wine, this should be news which earns a light round of applause and some cheers. But bringing a baby into this war isn’t smart and Sirius knows this couldn't have been done on purpose.  

“What?” Sirius asks, forgetting all about the battle raging around them. The only thing he can focus on is the broken, tired man in front of him. 

“I know. It’s bad. It’s bad, because this baby doesn’t … doesn’t deserve a life like this,” James says hastily, his eyes bloodshot, blood trickling down his forehead. Sympathy twists at Sirius's chest at the sight. “And I just need to know. If something happens to me or Lily, will you –“

“Of course I will,” Sirius says automatically. The fact that James even had to ask is bewildering but there's no time to bring that up. 

He adopts an expression similar to relief, but it’s pained.

“And your baby will have a long, happy life,” Sirius adds forcefully. “It’ll have you and Lils. Me, Moony and Wormtail.”

“Padfoot – but –“

“No buts, alright?” he says. “We’re gonna win this. Your baby will live in a good world." 

After nodding a few times, it’s clear James isn’t sure what to say. Instead, he seizes Sirius’s cheeks, thumbs smoothing over the dip of his cheekbones, and kisses him. The kiss is thousand words squeezed into one gesture. As if to say thank you. As if to show how much he needs him. As if to remind Sirius quite how much he loves him, just how badly he’d do without him.

They break apart and James doesn’t smile, which is a bizarre sight. He just nods for a fourth time.

“Thanks,” he croaks.

And they run back out, wands held up, shooting curses at the robed figures, side by side, like always.

Sirius never forgets this kiss.

 


End file.
